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DAVID HASSELHOFF FACTS!! - If you were to lock David Hasselhoff in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammys. When asked why he doesn't do this David replied "Because Grammys are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response. - David Hasselhoff coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence. - David Hasselhoff had sex with Al Gore's mother, thus, making him the real creator of the internet. - Crop circles are David's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f_ down. - The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Hasselhoff punched himself in the face. - The Kracken in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is not a mythical sea creature, but instead David Hasselhoff's chest hair trying to make a career comeback after being left to die alone in the ocean when Baywatch stopped filming. - David Hasselhoff can't fight. Instead, he has evolved to the point that his "singing" is used to scare predators away - David Hasselhoff got the role in Knight Rider because his balls looked best in tight jeans. - David Hasselhoff is the real reason Pamela Anderson has Hepatitis. - Every morning, David Hasselhoff shaves a sheep for a fresh curly wig. |